Thursday, 29 April 2021

The storm

Lying on the bed, one night, he closed his eyes, and let his thoughts go on in his mind. It starts from feeling of heart pounding against the uncertainity about the most important person in his life. He doesnt know whats going on but surely want to know what going on in her life. Submerged in the water of anxiety, suffocated by the thoughts, he opens his eyes and watched the roof with a question why?.. 
Why is it only he is the one who forgives and accept the things and the person as they are?
Why is it only he is the one who cares?
Why is it he is the one who preserves himself for her?
Why is it he is the one who feels ?
Why is it that she always feels emotionally cold?
Is it like he is the one who caused her all this ?
Or is it that she just don't wanna be?

All such and many more questions run down in his mind. With drop of tear in his eyes and the smile of all the memories on his mind, he wishes himself to get out of this fine...

Friday, 29 May 2020

The Wind chime

        Rushing through the streets one fine day in a marketplace quite well known, studded with people and entrapped in crowd she saw one quite unpopulated shop where everything was silent without any of the hustle and bustle. Accompanied with her mother she curiously indicated with her footsteps and wide gaze of emotions to express her intention to enter this totally different of silence unfancy to the mess outside. With the sign of assertion from her mother both of them with the combined efforts rushed in through the crowd to enter this very place. They reached the door of this very shop, accompanied with the pause to gaze over the things decorated in there, they opened the door and entered the place. The inside was totally silent, silent as the street in the night. As they enter they noticed a very beautiful breach in the dawn of silence by a very optimistic sound made due to the wind gushing into the shop as the door was opened. That pleasant sound made her even more curious and enchanted in her mind the very thought of her Love, the only one optimistic as that sound. As the door was closed the sound was then heard very clearly with her eyes searching for the source of that sound, of that very thing which reverb her mind with Love. Before the silence was breached with welcoming conversation with the shopkeeper, she found the source of sound. Quite small for the emotions engraved, thoughts decorated; it was a golden bronze wind chime with a boat pendent beautifully hanging below it. Without any moment of delay she decided to get that symbol of optimism to present as a symbol of 'them' to her love. She decided that with this symbol he would never feel alone without her in the dynasty of unknown world. She asked in her very polite and pleasant words to the shopkeeper to please pack this wind chime for her and that she want to buy it; with she continuously thinking and dreaming about what he will say on seeing such a wonderful gift of her.
           Waiting for a very long time for the very special day for which she had thought every single day, she enchained many thoughts, many plans to present a day full of surprises for her special one. After all this wait with sense of eager, finally the day showed up. They spent the whole day together, cherishing and also creating many memories glimpsed in the mind in an unforgettable form. Finally it was time for that very special moment, the moment for which she had waited quite long to see that sense of happiness in his eyes for which she can do anything. Finally with the eyes full of emotions and hands full of love he handed over the gift to him. While he was silently with the sense of happiness, curiosity, surprise unpacking her gift, she was silently observing him. His emotions, his eyes full of love for her, his expressions; every such thing was making her mind calm and thus happy. As he opened the gift and pulled out the wind chime out of the box with reading plenty of chits written by her with sense of love, a rush of tears of happiness left from his eyes. This was accompanied with the feeling of love and optimism as the sound of wind chime was heard by his ears. He slowly held her to his heart with the sense of happiness and love reflecting from his actions which make both of them that yes, 'They made the Day'. He hanged this wind chime at his door which symbolizes her love for him and never ever made him feel alone without her in his room. She was also very happy and totally satisfied with her efforts and most importantly because of the wind chime. 

Thursday, 1 September 2016

HOPE....story by Srushti Jadhav

  Some things exist, which indeed are difficult to express in the form of words. But when you start speaking about it, eventually you will feel that you have spoken a lot but still you are very much sure that the person with whom you are speaking with have not understood that in the same way you have. If you just try to imagine about such circumstances, I am very much sure that each one of us have at least one such event which even you cannot explain to yourself. Well, such things as some people might be thinking do exist. These things however needed to be finely and delicately observed. Some unknown writer once have said, ‘try to observe this world, use all your sense organs to do so, use your thinking to elicit them and yes obviously use your brain to understand them so that then in the world each moment will be important and you will be important to yourself.’ Guys literally, these things are very important in the world and most importantly in your life. Just observe and learn, imitate and learn, try and learn but just don’t stop learning. Well you might be wondering what ‘hope’ as the title signifies. It signifies a story of such learning and adapting, adapting and understanding, understanding and applying, and believing in yourself. It’s the story of success. 
          Well, I am a medical student studying in the medical school in Sewagram. Presently in pre-final year of the medical education. Endowed with very good friends the time was passing by and we were getting older with everyday having new sets of medical adventures in the college. One fine day, the daily schedule for the daily activities was over and I was sitting quietly in my room searching for what to read. Suddenly it was a call from my friend Srushti that one of our friend from another medical school was inviting us all for event of Otorhinolaryngology Quiz which was going to be held in a nearby town called Nagpur. I was very excited to hear that because it was rather going to be a fun trip than the event itself. I congratulated all my friends who invited me and was very astonished to hear that their group is preparing very hard to win this very event. I gave them a good luck and told them to keep up the spirit and also with the promise that we will be there to cheer for you at the event. Well, Srushti and I were very excited regarding the news about the quiz and we discussed regarding their hard work and the benefits that they would have after participating for such an event. After all this talk, I was rather thinking who all might be representing our medical school in this event. In some corner of my mind I too have a very great in that quiz because for the present year ENT was one of my favourite subject. This incident was exactly one month before the event of quiz.
          Days passed on and we were just living our daily routine. It was exactly 10 days before the quiz that there was an announcement in our medical school regarding screening for the team that would represent our medical school in the event of ENT quiz. After hearing the news, I was thinking of not going to the quiz. The reason was regarding studies. At the time of screening I was having my ophthalmology postings for which I have already made a great plan to study and the plan was obviously going to fail if at all I got selected for the quiz. So, with the intention of not going to the quiz I have decided to appear for the screening. My friend Srushti was of same opine. She had another reason for not going to the quiz and thus both of us half-heartedly but with great enthusiasm finally appeared for the screening for the quiz. Guys, you won’t even imagine, that day was the biggest day of our life with totally unknown for what we were going to do and what we were going to achieve. The day on which we appeared for the screening was a busy one. Both of us were supposed to have some work in Wardha exactly after the screening. So after the question paper was in our hands, I was very much delighted to see only 30 questions. While solving the screening, the mind was thinking and obviously wondering that how am I able to solve most questions correctly for which my mind concluded that don’t worry man! You are not going to get selected for the reason that most questions were easy and there will be a tough competition for the sake that only few questions will be the deciding factor for the results. So I quickly solved all the questions and handed over the answer sheet to the examiner who were nothing but our Ravi sir. Guys, when I was handing over the paper there was a quick moment of a second when I wondered that there are only 30 questions and what all these other students are doing with the paper. With this thought I left the room being the second one to do so because the first was obviously Srushti.
          Then there was this ophthalmology lecture when the results for the selected candidates was disclosed that too on Whatsapp and I was in a condition that I cannot check the messages. Then I heard someone calling me with the voice that I quickly recognised to be the voice of Sahitya congratulating me that You, Srushti and Anju are selected as a team for the quiz with herself being the extra candidate which can replace any one of us if the conditions demand. Quickly after the lecture I checked my whatsapp to see our names in the selection list. After doing this I quickly called Srushti and told her about the same as well congratulated her for the selection, the reason being that she was in Nagpur. Myself, Sahitya and Anju gathered after the lecture and decided to go to the department for further guidelines. Reaching the department, we told Dr.Deepika Garg ma’am (Professor, ENT department) that we are the selected and one of us is in Nagpur and will return and meet you. Ma’am told us about how to read and how the things there goes. She allotted us with Dr. Ravi Ganeshkar sir who was responsible for having our preparations done in a way they were supposed to be. You know guys that very moment when we were having Ravi sir with us was one of the golden moments which we all consider for whatever happens next. That was the moment when the days for work, days for sacrifice and obviously days of learning much more than studies started. After the meet with Deepika ma’am we all followed Ravi sir to the Library where he issued us some books which were necessary for the preparation. While issuing the books he just asked a question regarding who will be preparing the ear, the nose and the throat. It was a very quick moment when I just thoughtlessly raised my hand for the question that sir asked regarding who will be preparing the ear. After ear it was the turn of nose which was selected by Anju and the remaining was throat which was supposed to be done by Srushti as she was not able to select due to her mere absence.
          Dr. Ravi Ganeshkar sir, foreign graduate from Russia, a treasured senior one can ever have. He was a very straight forward person. Guys, seeing the other world where things go differently do make a difference in how that person is. This obviously depends on the person itself and then on the type of exposure he had. On each and every day of our preparation sir used to tell us some of his observations on how things differ, how differently people are as compared how people here are, what the real meaning of friendship is, how much trustful one can be, how to believe in yourself and many such things. All these words used to motivate us and even after a tedious day we used to read and then sleep. We actually used to sit in a seminar room in front of the ward of ENT department and used to prepare for the quiz there. On the very first day, as described earlier, we divided our topics into three as Ear, Nose and throat which was to be done by myself, Anju and Srushti respectively. On the same day we made a plan for the quiz and that how we are going to complete the whole syllabus in these 8 days we have. Actually the things were so contrasting that no one from us were knowing about how the pattern of the quiz is as also how to prepare because it was simply the first time for both of us. We spoke with our seniors from 2012 batch who went last year for the quiz and there we got some idea for how to prepare for the quiz. We came to know that we need to focus on theory mainly in a way that we are able to answer anything from that whole book, then we need to focus on visuals in a way that any pic will be provided which we need to identify, also we need to focus on history of the subject such that we must identify scientist from his photograph or from his work, as also we need to focus on anatomy, physiology and most importantly the recent advances. So now we were having the goal and we started working. Actually it was a prime situation that whatever we do now we must do it perfectly, whatever we do we can’t afford mistakes in it and obviously time was to be managed perfectly above all. All of us were knowing this and hence many of the times it made us do more than what our sir used to tell us. Sir was of the opinion that doing just the MCQ will be enough for the preparation of the quiz as he was knowing nothing about the quiz. So it was decision of all three of us that we decided to go through theory perfectly. So the thing was like we need to solve 400 MCQ’s a day with us struggling to have time to go through theory. Well, all this going perfectly fine and apart from all this we used to have those wonderful teaching and motivational statements of our mentor which used to make our day. One more thing during the preparation I would like to highlight is regarding the unique way of explaining things in the way of their practical approach to the variety of concepts by our Ravi sir. He used to explain things in such a way that we ought to remember as well as understand them throughout the life.
          Our preparations used to start in the evening or afternoon hours mostly and it most of the times used to start from ear then subsequently nose and lastly throat. Whenever a topic regarding any of the three subheads was getting discussed, the person who was preparing that topic used to be responsible for any questions that sir asked on that topic. The most funny things which my other two teammates used to complain is that the discussion regarding ear was supposedly to be the conversation between myself and sir and both of them used to end up looking each other with a big question mark as everything has just bounced over the head.
          Everyday schedule was like waking up in the morning, reading theory an hour before postings then getting ready and the going for the postings. After coming back we used to freshen up and have our lunch, gathering the energy, then we used to start solving the MCQ’s till the time scheduled for preparations with sir. When the time to have discussion with Ravi sir used to arrive, each one of us used to be like I didn’t solve the expected number of MCQ sir told us. Discussion used to start with ear which was my topic and it always took 2 to 2.5 hours then the discussion used to get turned over to nose for 1 to 1.5 hours and at last to throat for just 30 to 45 minutes. I still remember Srushti’s expression on the very first day of our preparation where she sat with blank face as nothing was discussed related to throat and she end up looking at both of us that throat is not of much importance and we used to tell her that all three are equally important. Guys, Srushti was also one of the important person who held us all together, motivated us and encouraged us till the last moment.
          Each and every day of our preparation was like an adventure. The very next day we had college and our PG coaching together which accounts for almost more than 12 to 14 hrs of our time. But here was the twist that we decided to miss it and end up our day watching Rustom movie and that too decided momentarily making us almost half hour late for the movie. While watching the movie there was this fear of getting accidently encountered with ravi sir in the same movie theatre at the same time. I even imagined his expressions saying us that, this is your quiz preparation! But with all this fear we were still very enthusiastic to watch the movie completely. This is how our day ended. One more contrasting moment was when we came to know that we are having our PG coaching for the next consecutive 6 days along with our college and quiz preparation. But according to me, I considered myself a human rather than superman decided to prepare for quiz and bunking college as well as the coaching. We all 3 were bhatians (name of the PG coaching) and together, we decided to bunk Bhatia.
          There was this legendary Sunday then and we studied the whole theory as much as we can with the promise to Ravi sir that we will have our discussion today doing double timing and on that day we end discussing throat. At the end of the session we decided to cover the theory that each one of us was allotted, within three days. The trust between each other which is the most crucial thing for any team was surely lacking for the reason we ourselves were not confident enough for the topics we were preparing.
          In the next consecutive days we followed the same schedule with constancy and regularity and finally ended up completing the theory part. Deepika ma’am was also a great support. She emailed us the material for quiz which was supposed to be the platform on which our preparation must be based. Ravi sir used to ask us to get printed every next day and it used to be like each day we went to him without having anything printed. We went to wardha for three consecutive days to get it print but each time we went, the shop was closed either due to the national holiday or say Sunday. Seeing that we then used to buy maggi and enjoy our national holiday and Sunday eating it as our mess and ICH were closed for the occasion. Though it was our national holiday, we decided to meet and have discussion for preparing ourselves for the worst. We decided to watch video on mastoidectomy and for the same sake watched surgery done by Dr. VS Rao sir who once was an external in our college for M.D. exams. I tried to understand it and discussed each and every aspect with sir trying to clear my doubts. Later at the end of the day I got a call from Srushti, she told me that she and Anju just understood the drilling part of the surgery else was just beyond their understanding.
           On Tuesday, attending college reading for quiz then going for discussion was our schedule and on that day we saw the pics of various scientist related with history of ENT on the website which included of pics both of their younger days and older days on same slide and each one of us trying various tricks to remember them. Related to scientist none of us were that interested but it was Ravi sir who made it interesting making funny tricks to remember them. After 3 consecutive days of not getting those material print we finally got the print on 4th day that is on Wednesday when only 4 days were left for the quiz. We then showed those printouts to sir and it was fascinating to see his expression because none of the MCQ were marked. We didn’t solve any MCQ from that material but it was expected from us to do it. But we then told sir that we were following Sakshi Arora MCQ book. Funny thing about this MCQ book is that the lady author who herself is a gynaecologist and had written ENT MCQ book. That seriously sound something weird and funny. I found it funny because that day was literally stressful and so rather than frustrating out I decided to laugh on these weird things that earlier led to screw up my mind. Again I used my psychological trick to keep myself calm and cool. On Wednesday finally we end up reading theory of our particular topics.
          On Thursday we were accompanied by Dr. Sushil sir who was a Final year postgraduate who had just finished his exams. So he acknowledged us with many minute details which we skipped. Then the legendary Friday arrived, which we call as a third minor day because it was on this day that we are bombarded with lectures from all the three subjects of our third minor. On this very day after our postings in respective departments we decided to gather in ENT department decided to bunk the lectures. We were taught bones related to ENT on that day with its each and every peculiar details. On that day we were accompanied by our ENT professor Dr. Deepika Ma’am. She sat with us the whole day. For the very first time we saw Ravi sir getting nervous and conscious due to Deepika ma’am’s presence. The person who was always there with us, encouraging us through all ups and downs was nervous. But as he started teaching us bones, he overcame it. Later Deepika ma’am asked us questions as per the Quiz rounds like a Mock of an actual quiz. The questions which she asked were based on the presentation which she had of various quizzes which were held in our college itself and one from another college. It was like a trial which she gave us and that made us feel that we know and we can remember something from what all we have read and that very things engraved us with a little bit confidence for the quiz we were going to appear. We sat from 1:00 pm till 5:00pm in department and then with a small break for evening breakfast we then continued our discussion with our mentor Dr. Ravi sir. We tried to cover the topics left over and ended our day.
          The next day arrived. The day just before our quiz. It was 3rd Saturday of the month. And as scheduled it was our field visit in our own village Selukate which was declared to be the last visit and it was thus proclaimed that we cannot afford to miss it at any cost. So we went at 7:00 am in the morning, met our allotted families, interacted with them and with case discussion the visit concluded and thus returned by 11:00 am. As we reached our hostel we rushed towards ENT department with a request to keep the seminar room open for us for we can sit there and do our preparation. We met deepika ma’am requested her but as there was no one available to take the responsibility of the keys we were told to study in ENT examination room near ward. We also had an issue of our photos to be sent to IGGMC, Nagpur who was conducting the quiz. We were already tired, sweaty and Deepika ma’am was in such hurry that she was even ready to click our photos there itself with our sweaty and tired faces. But we then told ma’am that we had already sent it to Ravi sir. She then called him and asked him to send her the photos urgently. As it was the weekend day, our Sir went home to meet his family which he used to do once a month just for a day. He sent our photos to ma’am and we then rushed from there directly to our hostel to have lunch and return as quickly as possible as time was less and we were to revise the matter we had read.
          It was me and Srushti who decided to come in college and study while Anju was comfortable reading alone and we all were cool with that decision. It was the high time and we could not afford to waste a single minute. We had our lunch and returned as soon as possible to the college. First of all we searched for the ENT examination room. We found it but there was no table or chair in that room as it was an examination room so we end up taking keys from surgery and started reading in surgery seminar room. We sat from 1:00 pm till 5:00 pm continuously then had a quick breakfast break for 15 minutes and again started reading. We were later accompanied by Anju at 7:00 pm as decided since it was the night before quiz and we had much more stuff to discuss. So while waiting for sir to come we revised the scientist from the PowerPoint presentation and noted all of them on a paper so that we are able to revise them at the last moment. Later we saw bull’s atlas for visuals. The time we were doing our visuals, Ravi sir arrived as he was coming from Nagpur driving both the ways alone. Actually he went home to keep his Duster at home and to get his bullet back to Sewagram but it was a matter of last minute when whole plan changed. He was ordered by the department to take all the participants in his car to the quiz destination IMA Nagpur, since they didn’t get any vehicle from our own college though we were representing them.
          As sir arrived we stopped our discussion and he informed us about the matter as well the change of plan. Earlier we were supposed to be taken to the quiz destination by Dr. Sushil sir but at last moment it was our Guide who was destined to be with us for the whole journey. As usual sir encouraged us. I still remember those words he spoke like “Never lie to yourself”, “Explore the path you decided to choose”, and the most important which I still remember was “I believe in you. You should believe in yourself”. He is a kind of person I would have ever met in Sewagram. He was not our senior but our mentor our guide who made us to believe in ourselves and have trust in each other as we were representing a team. Throughout my life I saw very few people who loved their work and he was one of them. Those 7 to 8 days which we had with him was surely a great time, a time that was slowly turning into memories which I would definitely like to cherish whole of my life.
          So, on Saturday night sir instructed us to have dinner what we like to eat, to have complete sleep and of course get up early in the morning wearing our favourite dresses which we think to be lucky and gather around 7.00 am in the morning where we will have our breakfast and leave for the destination sharp by 7:30am. We followed his instructions but also had our own plans to revise a little bit, but failed to do so after such a long tiring day. And it will definitely sound funny that while reading ENT I myself become an ENT patient as a fly landed in my nose. So I rushed to trauma centre for checkup. I went there but there was no one to check except the interns. So I called up senior sir from ENT department who made me wait there for 45 minutes. I wasted almost 1 hour there and end up examining my nose for the fly but till then I guess I had already swallowed that fly. So then I went to my room studied for next half an hour, had dinner and decided to sleep with the thought that we will see tomorrow what to revise and what not to. I was just preparing my mind and explaining myself to be calm and confident that whatever I had read it is enough for now and it’s totally necessary to take rest for tomorrow.
          So we all had our beauty sleep. Woke up early, got ready, had breakfast and decided to work as sir had told us. Guys, you won’t believe, that very journey from Sewagram to Nagpur was splendid. We didn’t even think of the quiz the whole journey. We were discussing regarding our hobbies, movies, songs and what not. We were actually getting prepared unknowingly for the fact that we are going to just play the quiz and not to win it. The simple reason was we have been preparing since last 8 to 10 days as compared to others who might have been preparing from a month or so. Though I and sir were talking about random things, Srushti and Anju sitting back were revising and also used to forward me little pages so that I should be in touch with various rapid fire round questions. We reached IMA hall by 9:00 am sharp. Reaching there we could feel the atmosphere of tension within all other participants and amongst which we were laughing, joking, cheering up as well as revising. After reaching there we met our friends who were representing their college, had a little chit chat and we were even teasing each other that your team will be first and ours will be the second as also wished them best luck and entered the hall.
          We enrolled our names with our college name to the organisers. They made all the participants to sit in front. We assumed our place to sit and were waiting for the further announcements. While we were waiting, it was Srushti who was saying that guys lets revise the scientist. She switched on her internet and started loading the slides of scientist. She made us to go through the scientists just 10 minutes before the start of the quiz. While we were busy revising, the inauguration of quiz started and we were sitting quiet as our heartbeats were raising. Then a student from each team was asked to be on stage and pick up a cheat of alphabet which was going to decide the position which each group going to assume on the dice. So I went up on stage picked up the cheat and we were denoted as group D. Then all three of us assumed our seats where there was this D letter was mentioned. Each team was introduced along with their photos and welcomed. But again a funny thing happened that on Srushti’s photo Anju’s name was written and vice versa. Thank god I was the only boy in our team and had my photo with correct name on it. The quiz master introduced himself and then told us about the rules for the quiz. First round was of basic sciences started from team A. Then next turn was of team B not D but still due to our misunderstanding and the quiz masters eye contact with us made us to believe that the question was for our team and we end up answering it. And so we made our first mistake but the decision remains with the quizmaster and judges. They first decided to give us negative points that too in first round. But considered our first mistake and forgived us for that. So from that point onwards we decided to be alert and remembered our Sir’s words that on the day of quiz the winner will be one who will make less mistakes but not the one who will answer the most.
          So we gathered our courage and played our turn and gave correct answer. Next round was of scientist round. Actually it was boon for us that we revised scientist just 10 minutes before the quiz. Our scientist was Sir Prosper Menieres which was answered by me but I firstly asked Srushti about Meniere’s full name and then we answered that question correctly gaining the lead. Next round was of rhinology which Anju answered correctly again gaining us 20 marks with total 50 marks. Fourth round was of otology with 2 questions each of 10 marks. I answered correctly for the first question and second question was passed to every team since no team was able to answer it. I also answered one passed question. So with total of 65 marks for my team. Then 5th round was of Srushti related to throat which made us gain 15 marks in that round. Then was the visual round. And when our turn came it was like Srushti and Anju both were murmuring in my ears and I told them to be quiet and answered that question directly which turned out to be correct. And the second question related to it was also correctly answered. So total of 100 marks. It was the most crucial round. Next was recent advances round. When our turn came, we tried to answer logically correlating to the picture shown. But was wrong, so at the end of this round we actually had a tie with Akola team which was last year’s winner. The last round was the rapid fire round which we all liked the most because we end up answering 8 questions correctly with 1 passed question and Akola team could only answer 4 questions correctly. So making a clear cut win by 40 marks over the runner-up team.
          At last we could see our sir standing behind and the only man clapping till the end when everyone stopped. We could see the pride on faces of our beloved sir. The moment when all the rounds were over, all the participants were made to sit in the audience. All the participants were waiting for the results but still we 3 were as usual confused and stunted that did we just win the quiz or not since everyone else were congratulating us. After the vote of thanks the runner ups were declared and with no doubt the winner team too which were we three. We went on stage, took our respective certificates and the trophy too with a big smile, a surprising expression still trying to believe that did we just win the quiz. It was because MGIMS hadn’t ever won any quiz in Nagpur. So it was a great mark on history.
          After the prize distribution was over, we all were invited for the working lunch. When we were about to leave the hall, I can still remember expressions on the face our guides. They were just so happy as if their only dream of life was to win the quiz and they were the one who believed in us and thought us to be much more than just books. Though his words were sometime philosophical but yet we didn’t find it boring instead those used to be too much motivational. I believe we can’t find a person as a guide like him ever. He didn’t even wish us best luck for the quiz just to indicate that he will always be there with us whether we win or lose. So it was not only important for us to win but also surprising to see that our hard work paid us with this sweet success. Then we moved towards the lunch area still everyone on the way congratulating us. We called our department and they were talking like their happiness didn’t have any limit. They all were happy. We also informed our parents and they too were very happy.
          We had our lunch and while eating we met the judge who spoke like yes MGIMS is improving a lot nowadays. In a mid-time no quiz was won by MGIMS. So it was a proud moment for us that we won. Our sir were so happy that he told us to make plan to roam in Nagpur to shop and to enjoy. We enjoyed a lot the whole day finally ending with a treat that was watching suicide squad in empress mall. Had lots of chit chat whatever we wished to say and share our feeling everything. While returning it was so surprising that sir gave us his lovely DUSTER to drive. First it was Srushti to drive from pavnar till railway crossing then I took over the driver seat till our hostel and everyone there were also congratulating us and we just made our day with a lots of memories and most importantly our sir without whom all this would not have been possible. Seriously we are grateful to have you sir in our MGIMS. And we ended our day eating in ICH along with the strophy.   
          Well, in the end I would like to say just a sentence dedicated to our Sir,
я верю в тебя. Вы должны верить в себя . мы сделали сэр ... мы сделали это вместе

Saturday, 30 July 2016

Blank

          It is for the first time that i didn't made any observation and simply presenting all the readers with the observation of the state of mind. The thing which I am going to talk about, is a situation for which I myself is searching for an answer. So I do request to comment with whatever statement which you think is the explanation. There are always these awkward movement of life when you feel lonely. You virtually think that you are not interested in any of the things to do around and you are just blankly sitting or lying staring at something without actually seeing that object. However if you just try to do something in such situation you might get so involved that you even lose yourself at any point of time. But we are demotivated actually to do anything. So we don't do anything. Its like life and death are similar things. All the things that are going around are worthless and the things you do according to your schedule seems to be really refreshing but that to while doing it and not after it. Its like a vicious cycle, whatever you think will make you go into such state even to a very deeper extent. So practically you are also not thinking anything. So its like you are blank and everything is blank. Well, its very hard to comment on such wierd situation but you need to clearly believe that such things do happen. Its like you are seaching yourself in others and get hurted each time because you don't exist anywhere. You express something or for that matter anything to anyone, and then refret that why you did so, because they made the thing more worse. Its when you started feeling that where should I go, what should I do, whom should I talk to; so that I should get some sort of peace to my mind so that I can do what I aimed for in the life. Even people who said that I am always with you have to be made realised that I need you, and that I am hanging over the hell without support. And also that where should I go where I get relieve from whole of the heck of the thing going on in my mind. Actually mind is blank but still something annoying is going on with the fragments of thoughts slashing against each other and negatively claming the mind without mere existence of peace. You even started to feel like better were those non-living things you made friends for the case that no one is with you. All those people with whom you have your expressions linked with, are disconnected with they themselves cutting those delicate intricacies of connnection that used to exist somewhere in the past. You feel like this in the state what is called as deep loneliness where you want but don't have.

Friday, 22 July 2016

Paradoxical expression

          Many remarkable things occur in the world. Even our birth is one of the most remarkable events that occured on this earth. However it is very essential for everyone one of us to always remember a very simple fact that we are nothing but a very small picture amongst all the great remarkable things which occur everyday. Well to understand the inferiorty complex being mentioned here, just try to imagine the earth in its original shape and compare it with our shape. Here you can very well appreciate that we are very tiny part of this earth and there are many like us. This fact was made to be realised by me by a very good teacher of mine whom I encountered during my college life. Thus, we should never forget that we are nothing but a very tiny part of something or say some process and we are destined to do our job whose completion will make us a bit more of what of tiny contribution we are contributing by not doing anything. Well this has nothing to do with expression.
          After a rush over the tiny lesson, lets move on to the topic. Well, humans are very well given the property or characteristic of expression. If we try to think so far human are know to be the most complex of all organisms as they are bestowed with a brain superior to all the other beings in this world which enables them to perform higher functions of the same. They can think, act, react and many more such things with the help of this brain. Well if we try to think a little bit more, how are these things possible for our brain to be performed? Well the same question was responsible for many studies to be carried out to compare what is difference in human brain and brain of other living beings. Many studies were also done to elicit the structure and function of various parts of brain. In this hustle and bustle of studies there was another science which was rapidly emerging which resulted from one such study known as psychiatry. As here I am talking about expressions, by which  I mean to emphasize upon emotions. Well, emotions also are one of the greatest issue to the mankind. Because they are the culprit which might even ruin or even make a day. Many scientists tried to explain them and many theories were thus proposed. One such theory was proposed by Dr. Sigmund Freud. He being known as father of psychiatry have given the concept of various levels of mind. According to him there are three levels of mind. The level in which we are in present is the conscious mind. Another is pre-conscious mind. The one which has memory component and helps us recall or remember without using conscious efforts. And the last but the most important is the unconscious mind. Which is the one about which no one knows about. Which is also reponsible for processing data and decide what should affect and what should not. The things affecting us manifest via emotions. The other aspect for the unconscious mind can be understood by a simple analogy of an office where unconscious mind is the boss and the conscious mind is like a labourer. Unconscious mind sends impulse or information to the conscious mind which then acts for the subjective realisation of different aspects responsible for different types of response to different stimuli. Unconscious mind not only gives impulse but it also acts as an effective receptor for variety of stimuli or say information which different sensory organs perceive. Thus on having a look over the overall process we may be able to find that unconscious mind is the centre of everything.
          Lets talk about different aspects of this mind. How do you think this subconscious mind develops then? Lets think how things change from the point of our birth till present. When we are born everything is developing i.e. all the minds are getting trained to have thier own unique subjective variation. Conscious mind did not know what information he should provide to the unconscious mind and unconscious mind did not knoe what response he should give. Slowly the conscious mind starts developing. His own sensory system becomes so imperative that he slowly started seeing light source, then coloured objects, he feels touch of different people and tries to differentiate them as familier ones, started hearing different sounds and slowly starts gazing towards the source of sound. Unconscious mind starts getting these varied impulses and then being unknown to how to respond it starts developing some basic reponses crying and smiling. In this way all these components of mind gets exposed to different stimuli and leading to their own development. Well thus most important thing which then decide personality which is the combination of subconscious mind and unconscious mind is influenced by the parenting atmosphere or say by the parents. Well lets have an example here, consider a boy whose father was a very studious guy making him an introvert and unsocial personality doing well with his business which he has set up now and his mother who was totally opposite to what his father was, socially very active and an extrovert but very overprotective about her son. Lets try to figure out the mind development of this fellow. Well as his mother was overprotective its kind of decreasing different types of stimuli in amount from occuring in a way making that person away or making him inexperienced about different response he can provide to various stimuli which can occur in his further life. On the other hand, his father being an introvert does not like many people at his place making this guy also an introvert which makes him not able to behave socially with other people. So what do you think how that guy becomes. Lets consider that if he left his home for studying or acquiring graduation to a place far away from his home. Now he is free, he is open to every stimuli he can receive. Now the things which may occur depends totally on stimuli without any influence from parents. Positive stimuli will thus cheer him up however, negative stimuli will surely make him fall and again adapt and live. Thus now its totally in his hand what person he becomes a good or a bad one. As we all know good and bad are relative terms it depends on subjective definitions but one thing we should also not forget that whatever we are made by our parents trains our mind to that extent that its very difficult to change and left always as a sign of non- adaptive behaviour or say basal behaviour. Thus this is how complex the development of our mind is. Well now it is very easy aftera lots of explanation the point of paradoxical expression.
          Lets consider a constant amount of stress of any sorts occuring constantly over the conscious mind. So after a huge explanation I guess you will figure out that our unconscious mind will try to adapt to these changes. Well two things can occur during the course of adaptation. The person can either remove the stress by acting on that direction or he can just let that go away and adapting in a way that it affects him. What I am more interested is about the second thing. You know we do this thing everyday. We don't consider expression as a part of daily life. What I have stated above is the same fact of ignoring things which are affecting us. It is not actually ignoring but more of adapting because we think that time makes things subtle but we totally forget that adaptation by unconscious mind continuously may impair certain things. So guys it is like either you express consciously or your unconscious mind will express it in other way. I call it paradoxical expression. It is the way of expressing suppressed thing in a physical form or manifest form. I have many examples for this. The person who are emotionally sensitive are seem to more suffering from any hypersensitivity state of they didn't express. A person who is forced, not to do the things he want and if he didn't express may make him aggressive and irritative. A person having bad childhood experiences are always introvert as they didn't say that to anybody. And such many many examples are there.
          You may think that whatever I told you might be vague but let me tell you that I myself have been through all these upto to the level that I was getting palpitations and chest pain but it was like everything subsided when I expressed. For the matter of fact, that expression took almost 5 hrs to be completely not bothering me. You know all these things were also understood by most of the people and have led to the emergence of new concept called as emotional intelligence. So guys don't forget to express each and everything to your people whom you trust the most otherwise you may even not know that your unconscious mind is paradoxically expressing. Keep smiling.

Friday, 15 July 2016

Depth of field

             Somethings there are things in which we easily entrap. These things might be certain emotions, certain unacceptable things or events or even sometimes we ourselves. It pretty difficulty to understand how one can get trapped in himself due to ownself but if we try to think we just with a moment of thoughtfulness can enumerate a lot of moments in which these absurd things may happen. To understand the depth of how we entrap in something take an example of the picture which i have posted here. Try to find out the depth of the field which the camera had beautifully captured. Keep on viewing the same thing and you will come to know this simple fact how things happen. You will eventually observe that you usually think the event or the condition which is bothering you the most and unless you do not self remind yourself that you were reading someone's blog and you need to complete that reading part, you will keep on thinking about it. Well taking advantage of the above concept, I will like to share one of the things which had efficiently entrapped me and obviously had bothered me upto a very great deal.
               Well, the incidence started with myself living in a community where lies plenty of quacks and people who read and believe in horoscopy. I am not offending anyone regarding their belief but surely wanted to highlight that here things aren't possible to occur without horoscopy. People who have matching horoscopic profiles will only marry....married people of specific horoscopes will have a children of a specific horoscopic profile....and many such believes are ruling the minds presently in the community I live.  I tried to look for their science behind these things and i came to know that the stars which are present in the sky and their positions are responsible for how the person would be today and what all consequences he will have today, precisely saying presumptive future. What happened is one fine day my parents took me to such a pratitioner of horoscopy popularly known by something wale baba. Actually the thing was I didn't believe in all these things however i went there with them for their sake only. That person whosoever it was said that your son has some stars at wrong position and that he should not marry anyone as per his will. I was shocked to hear that. Though I was pretty  critic of all these things...I was not able to protest this fact due to my parents and this very thing which he said started entrapping me in myself. All my thought process, my emotions; everything was entrapping me in myself. I lost social behaviour with all girls and these things were eating up me inside. I then started compressing or in a way started ignoring this very fact. According to Father of psychiatry, emotions or bothering things if ignored without being expressed effectively may manifest physically. This very thing also started to express itself in my physical being. I started getting palpitations, sweating, restlessness etc.which was not getting cured even on medical treatment. I then decided to express these things to my parents and that very day everything became drastically normal and yes it felt like I was entrapped in a very deep depth of field and was been drawn awaken with very ropeof expression of thought.
              What i learnt was never restrain yourself from expressing. Express everything every emotion. And be happy never go too deep into the depth of field because you may never known even your own horrors may even lie there.

Stay happy stay blessed.